Pastydancer.com

I am not a regular member of the Civil Service II cricket team - for some obvious reasons: can’t bat, bowl or field, and making 0 and losing is not much fun. However, today was something different! The team were second from bottom in the league and we were playing the bottom side and near neighbours in the league: all things were riding on getting a result. Today’s match held the prospect of a full 30 points and putting distance between us and New Earswick.

What made the day better was having a full 11 men, an umpire and scorer; this was topped by a bright yellow orb in the sky making it pleasantly warm. We aren’t sure what the yellow orb was, some of the older heads thought it might have been the sun, but we can’t be sure! With the yellow orb shining we really wanted to bat first and enjoy a rest out of the full glare, although Captain Tess thought chasing may be better for us - he lost the toss so he had no choice and they elected to field. Bingo. Sun glasses on and enjoy a few rare cancerous rays, let the batters stick on a good score and we can then put them under pressure.

Of course I was forgetting the team motto “Omnis oris hostes hostium” i.e. everyone bats! The first 15 or so overs passed with not much happening, quite literally: the score was only just ahead of the overs, but a few hard smacks and then, inevitably, the wickets started to fall. Indeed it was a regular clatter of wickets, including a big fat Golden Duck for Two Sheds.

With 97 on the board and five overs left I waddled out to the wicket in my favourite position: No.11. Not only had ‘Are Kid’ and I got bat out the remaining overs, we also needed to get to 100 to get a point and then try and put a few more runs on. This was going to be difficult in my case as I had not scored a run all season and I don’t think I scored a run last season either. The signs were not good!

However, the pitch was slow and their bowlers were not fast, so things were in my favour. I would like to tell you that I danced down the wicket with all my old speed and clattered them around the park, or batted like silk, with the ball racing off the willow wand with timing only David Gower in his pomp could show.

One can dream. I did bat like my old self, using all the shots in my bag! The two best were the classic Pasty Dancer straight drives for four - through slip and behind the keeper to the boundary! There were also a few of my now trademark leaves: play down the wrong line and hope the ball misses the stumps.

The final over arrived and ‘Are Kid’ was on strike, a quick single and Pasty was facing, ‘Are Kid’ suggested that I drop the ball and run, however, the fielders caught on to this idea and all moved in. No choice now Pasty, you’ve got to hit through them, eek. Fortunately the ball sat up nicely and a drive to mid-off through the gap brought two runs, things were looking up: a middled ball and through the gap, where was Peter Moores (I could make Sri Lanka or New Zealand if you are short). Pasty had reached double figures, a feat never achieved in this league! A push for one and then ‘Are Kid’ produced a six to cow corner, all over and tea: Pastydancer 11 Not Out.

In the cool of the late-afternoon the mighty Service took the field, although inspite of the last wicket stand, 121 was not an easy target to defend. However, some good bowling from Jimmy Taylor and the demon spin of John Taylor (nice one Shane) New Earswick were all out for under 90. An early finish, but this time we were 30 points to the good. Drinks all round.

A win for Civil and double figures for the Pasty Dancer: rarer than hens teeth!

it is nearly a month since I have written on this blog, far to long a gap really. So what are my excuses:
New job - all the commuting takes it out of you.
Facebook - well it’s a bit of fun!
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - action packed from the start and difficult to put down.
… and getting stuffed in the cricket yesterday

So the start of my new job duly arrived and I headed of Leeds as a new commuter. The novelty of commuting soon wore off, however I am getting better at the Sudoku. Arriving in the Resilience team in the aftermath of the floods was a baptism, but at least it got me stuck in. It is now 4 weeks since I joined and things haven’t settled yet, mainly because the lessons learnt exercise is in full swing and FMD decided to come back (or was set free?), it is also the holiday season!

To help relieve the tedium of life I joined the world of Facebook, which is a bit more dynamic than a blog. However, friends seem to insist on adding photos of me in a pub … a most unnatural state for me - okay I know that’s not true. I miss having the Black Lung outside the office, especially as the weather was nice last week.

I didn’t make it to the bookshop at midnight on the Saturday to buy my copy of Harry Potter, Saturday afternoon was soon enough. However, it was a good read and hard to leave alone. I remember cycling into the Minster on Sunday morning and seeing two people sat in bus stops reading the book. The final book is possibly the best of the series and covered a lot of ground. It didn’t have a lot of back story to get through although there were plenty of bits that made you question events in previous books - until the end, where Rowling tied all the knots and Harry …… well you will have to read it.

Lastly, Civil Service seconds travelled all the way to Goole with 9 men and got stuffed. I made an 8 or 9 ball duck. Two Sheds bowled 11 overs and made 17 …. He might be a little stiff today!

Well it has started raining again so I can’t mow the lawn Just need the Hobbit to make his next move on the Facebook chess site!

Well two weeks off soon came to an end and now I am back for another grey, overcast weekend before starting my new job. It must be said that the south wasn’t much better. I did catch a glimpse of a bright yellow orb in the sky, but it wasn’t around long enough to be classified as a true sighting

The first weekend was taken up looking after my nephews, which was a trial in itself. I was feeling a little ‘tired’ when I arrived on Friday evening, and managed to play with two of them and was glad when they went to bed early. However, they did not understand that uncle Pasty did not want to be woken at 6 am. Things didn’t get much better the next day as my sisters third son pitched up as his other gran was unwell and so we had three boys aged 2, 4 and 5 to amuse - with two of them sharing my room. On Sunday they let me sleep in - until 6:30 - how kind!

The Christening went well, and lunch was a not for the weak-hearted. The desserts were as ever, far too nice:

I had hoped to update my blog in Pastyland, however my dad only has dial-up on his PC. All I can say is that dial-up is so painfully slow - I lost the will to live just checking my Hotmail!

On returning to York Two-Sheds kindly dropped off my leaving gifts on Saturday night and I decided that the large “Maxima” wine glasses needed Christening! They are very nice, although care is needed to avoid overfilling - only from a health point of view - as each glass can take a full bottle!

This is a ’standard glass’ of wine (about 187ml) - so beware of saying ‘just half a glass for me please’.

Yesterday was my last day at PSD and the inevitable trip to the Black Lung and a curry followed. It was a good night and I shall be sorry to leave behind so many good friends and people, although I’m not moving from York so I will see many of them again!

Thank you to everyone for the kind comments in my card and the generous gifts - I will look forward to the wine and the generously proportioned glasses! The superman water-wings may come in useful in my new job.

After nearly nine years at PSD I had accumulated a large amount of stuff to throw away, but going through the throwing out process was a bit of trip down memory lane: products I have approved or refused, MAFF forms and papers and the funny pictures that the Hobbit put together. One of the best adulterated pictures is this alternative version of the Matrix reloaded:

A classic from the Rotund Society of York days!

Bye for now - Pasty

Normally Two Sheds produces a summary of the second team performance on his blog. However, he wasn’t playing this week so I have taken up the challenge. As you may note by the time of this report, it is a little on the early side - even by our team’s standards!

The weather has not been good for most sports this week, however Saturday started bright and the forecasted rain seemed to have avoided us. Great! If it has not made it by 10 the forecast seemed to indicate that the afternoon would be dry. The bright morning soon started to bruise with a crack or two of thunder.

It might have been dark, but still no rain. Then the phone rang - der Kapitän - to say that the match was off. The Cawood captain had set off from York in positive mood that it was dry, only to get to Cawood to find the streets flooded and the pitch under a puddle. As I put the phone down the sky opened in York and water poured.

At least it was an early call and now I have rest of the day to myself.

Hopefully the rain will get blown away for Monday as it is the Roses Twenty20 at Headingley Carnegie. It is sell out match which should be a great experience as I have never been to a Twenty20 match before (except for a couple of second team matches :-)).

The film 300 was not the best fllm ever made. The President of the Rotund Society of York reviewed this himself with an appreciative view.

However, I found this ‘new’ version. It is a bit like the rotund society in battle. Instead of ‘tonight we dine in hell’ you just get ‘Tonight we dine’.

Today I visited Leeds to see where I will be working from mid-July and to meet most of the team. The building is very new and feels quite airy, which is a change from Mallard house. The building is so new that it still has a few teething problems, most notably the plumbing! On the downside there is no pub immediately outside the main entrance.

Another reason for going over today was to attend a meeting of category 2 responders (new job, new lingo), this was a good insight into what lies ahead for me. I was also able to meet a few people I will have close links with (so I am told). Goodbye Bayer, the CPA and the Control of Pesticides Regulations, hello West Yorkshire Police, the HPA and the Civil Contingencies Act.

Another plus point is no more TARIF, or any other time recording device. Sadly GOYH has outsourced its IT, which means 300 staff are supported 2-3 harassed looking IT help desk staff and the presentation to the meeting I attended was supported by the handouts rather than the computer and beamer. My new boss wasn’t sure I would even get my laptop by the time I arrived - it is amazing what progress looks like these days.

Early to mid-June is always a daunting time as there are three birthdays to celebrate, including mine. This year the timing was set out with added challenge as a union conference fell in the middle - and these are never sober occasions!

The start of the seven hard days was Saturday 4th June, L-H’s birthday.

A hardy group joined to help Chris celebrate, with a few fine ales and the usual curry. Sadly fine ale and the usual curry had the ‘usual’ affects on me!

Sunday was spent recovering from Saturday and preparing for Monday, when I should find out if I got the job I had recently applied for …. and to my surprise I was offered the post! Success at last, so on 16th July, all being well, I will start as an SEO in the Government Office as a Regional Resilience Manager.

Tuesday afternoon found His Grace, the Chair of EFRA branch of Prospect, and I, heading to Liverpool to the Civil Service Sector Conference. An evening of light refreshment followed.

Here His Grace smiles at the thought of another reflective ale in a rather spacious pub.

Sadly we headed back to the hotel and continued with a further reflective session, in the hotel bar, until 2. The journey back to the hotel was via the Roman Catholic cathedral, which at night has a certain resemblance to Barad-dur!

Wednesday was conference, Thursday was a rest day, before my birthday arrived. The Hobbit has recounted some of the evening on his site. The Hobbit was in fine form, although unusually for him he was keen to get to the Lung - ringing me at 3:57 to say are you ready yet!

Hobbit’s answer to most questions on Friday night was ‘I think I’m due a Deuchars’, which is a good choice. A pleasant evening sat outside the Lung and a curry was just the way to note the passing of another year.

These few nights have all been a bit of hard training for the main event next weekend: the Hobbit’s 30th Birthday, although the Hobbit is in denial. Fortunately he has a core group of hardy friends who will help him forget his age - by helping him to drink enough to blot out most memories.

What do you think of that Hobbit?

Well the BBC review was right. It wasn’t very good, it was too long and I’m still not sure what happened.

Plus no one seemed to have any understanding of how to run a naval engagement. Any pirate worth his salt would have raked the ships before attempting a slugging match with broadsides. Yes - it was that bad that I was left considering the merits of naval tactics.

The only thing the dancing/marriage/fight scene at the end needed was Craig Revel Horwood turning up to give a score of 2 and description of heinous.

Shiver me timbers!